Shaun of the Dead movie quotes

A man decides to turn his moribund life around by winning back his ex-girlfriend, reconciling his relationship with his mother, and dealing with an entire community that has returned from the dead to eat the living.
Director: Edgar Wright
Year: 2004
Genres: Comedy , Horror

Actor - actress

Quotes list

Liz: Shaun?

Shaun: Yeah?

Liz: You see what I'm saying?

Shaun: Yep, totally.

Liz: I know he's your best friend, but you do live with him.

Shaun: I know.

Liz: It's not that I don't like Ed.

[Liz looks over at Ed who is playing an arcade game]

Liz: Ed, it's not that I don't like you.

Ed: It's all right.

Liz: It would just be nice if we could...

Ed: [talking to the arcade machine] f**k!

Liz: ...spend a bit more time together...

Ed: [talking to the arcade machine] Bollocks!

Liz: ...just the two of us.

Ed: [talking to the arcade machine] c**k it!

Liz: It's just with Ed here, it's no wonder I always bring my flat-mates out and then that only exacerbates things.

Shaun: What do you mean?

Liz: Well you guys hardly get on, do you?

Shaun: No, what does "exacerbate" mean?

Liz: It means um, to make things worse.

Shaun: Right. Well I mean, it's not that I don't like David and Di.

[Shaun looks over at David and Di at the table next to them]

Shaun: Guys, it's not that I don't like you.

[together] It's all right.

Shaun: And it's not that I don't want to spend time with you cause I do. It's just... Ed doesn't have too many friends.

Ed: Can I get... any of you cunts... a drink?

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[repeated line]

Ed: I've got nothing.

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Dianne: SHAUN!

[Dianne throws a dart and misses]

Shaun: NO!

[Dianne throws another dart and hits the zombie]

Shaun: YES, yes, in the head!

[Dianne throws a third dart and hits Shaun in the head on accident]

Shaun: AHHHHHHHHH!

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[Shaun leads the zombies away from the pub to create a diversion]

Shaun: Come and get it! It's a running buffet!

[shouts]

Shaun: All you can eat!

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[Philip is crouched beside the car, after being bitten by a zombie]

Philip: You're not driving that car.

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Ed: Any zombies out there?

Shaun: Don't say that!

Ed: What?

Shaun: That!

Ed: What?

Shaun: The zed-word. Don't say it!

Ed: Why not?

Shaun: Because it's ridiculous!

Ed: All right... are there any out there, though?

[looking out of the letter-box, he sees an empty street]

Shaun: I can't see any. Maybe it's not as bad as all that.

[he turns his head and sees a pack of zombies]

Shaun: Oh, no, there they are.

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Ed: Hey, Shaun, look who it is!

Shaun: f**k-A-DOODLE-DO!

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[Shaun hits the zombie pub owner with the butt of the rifle]

Ed: Why didn't you just shoot him, man?

Shaun: Ed, for the last time...

[Shaun squeezes the trigger of the gun, and it actually fires!]

Ed: [gleefully] I f*****g knew it!

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Shaun: [about Ed] He's not my boyfriend!

Ed: [handing beer to Shaun] It might be a bit warm, the cooler's off.

Shaun: Thanks, babe.

[winks]

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David: I'm not staying here.

Liz: David, don't, that's suicide.

Ed: I think you should go.

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Ed: Who died and made you f*****g king of the zombies?

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Ed: [pulls the car up] What's up, niggas?

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[looking through Shaun's LPs for suitable records to throw at two approaching zombies]

Ed: 'Purple Rain'?

Shaun: No.

Ed: 'Sign o' the Times'?

Shaun: Definitely not.

Ed: The 'Batman' soundtrack?

Shaun: Throw it.

Ed: 'Dire Straits'?

Shaun: Throw it.

Ed: Ooh, 'Stone Roses'.

Shaun: Um, No.

Ed: 'Second Coming'.

Shaun: I like it!

Ed: Ahhh! 'Sade'.

Shaun: Yeah, but that's Liz's!

Ed: Yeah, but she did dump you.

Shaun: Oh!

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[repeated line]

Shaun: He's not my Dad, he's my stepdad!

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Barbara: [over the phone] Some men tried to get into the house.

Shaun: Well are they still there?

Barbara: [over the phone] I'm not sure, we've shut the curtains.

Shaun: Did you try the police?

Barbara: [over the phone] Well I thought about it.

Shaun: Are you OK? Did they hurt you?

Barbara: [over the phone] No I'm fine. I'm fine.

Shaun: Mum...

Barbara: [over the phone] Well they were a bit... bitey.

Shaun: [concerned] Mum, have you been bitten?

Barbara: [over the phone] No... But Philip has.

Shaun: [calmly] Oh, OK.

Ed: Has she been bitten?

Shaun: [to Ed] No, Philip has.

Ed: [calmly] Oh, OK.

Shaun: Listen, Mum, what sort of state is he in?

Barbara: [over the phone] Oh, he's fine. Bit under the weather.

Shaun: I see.

Ed: What's the deal?

Shaun: [to Ed] We may have to kill my step-dad.

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Ed: We're coming to get you, Barbara!

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Ed: Don't forget to kill Philip!

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Pete: It's four in the f*****g morning!

Shaun: It's Saturday!

Pete: No, it's not. It's f*****g Sunday. And I've got to go to f*****g work in four f*****g hours 'cos every other fucker in my f*****g department is f*****g ill! Now can you see why I'm SO f*****g ANGRY?

Ed: f**k, yeah!

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Shaun: Ohh, for God's sake! He's got an arm off!

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Ed: What's the plan then?

Shaun: Right.

[cuts to dream sequence]

Shaun: We take Pete's car, we drive over to Mum's, we go in, take care of Philip - "I'm so sorry, Philip" - then we grab Mum, we go over to Liz's place, hole up, have a cup of tea and wait for this whole thing to blow over.

Ed: Why have we got to go to Liz's?

Shaun: Because we do.

Ed: But she dumped you!

Shaun: I have to know if she's all right!

Ed: Why?

Shaun: Because I love her!

Ed: All right... gayyy... I'm not staying there, though.

Shaun: Why not?

Ed: If we hole up, I wanna be somewhere familiar, I wanna know where the exits are, and I wanna be allowed to smoke.

Shaun: Okay.

[cuts to dream sequence again]

Shaun: We take Pete's car, go round Mum's, go in, deal with Philip - "Sorry, Philip!" - grab Mum, go to Liz's, pick her up, bring her back here, have a cup of tea and wait for this whole thing to blow over.

Ed: Perfect!

Shaun: No, no, no, no, no, wait, we can't bring her back here.

Ed: Why not?

Shaun: Well, it's not really safe, is it?

Ed: Yeah, look at the state of it.

Shaun: Where's safe? Where's familiar?

Ed: Where can I smoke?

[Shaun and Ed pause then slowly make a realisation]

Shaun: [cuts to dream sequence a third time] Take car. Go to Mum's. Kill Phil - "Sorry." - grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. How's that for a slice of fried gold?

Ed: Yeah, boyyyeee!

[Shaun and Ed clang their weapons together]

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