Shaun of the Dead movie quotes

A man decides to turn his moribund life around by winning back his ex-girlfriend, reconciling his relationship with his mother, and dealing with an entire community that has returned from the dead to eat the living.
Director: Edgar Wright
Year: 2004
Genres: Comedy , Horror

Actor - actress

Quotes list

Liz: Shaun?

Shaun: Yeah?

Liz: You see what I'm saying?

Shaun: Yep, totally.

Liz: I know he's your best friend, but you do live with him.

Shaun: I know.

Liz: It's not that I don't like Ed.

[Liz looks over at Ed who is playing an arcade game]

Liz: Ed, it's not that I don't like you.

Ed: It's all right.

Liz: It would just be nice if we could...

Ed: [talking to the arcade machine] f**k!

Liz: ...spend a bit more time together...

Ed: [talking to the arcade machine] Bollocks!

Liz: ...just the two of us.

Ed: [talking to the arcade machine] c**k it!

Liz: It's just with Ed here, it's no wonder I always bring my flat-mates out and then that only exacerbates things.

Shaun: What do you mean?

Liz: Well you guys hardly get on, do you?

Shaun: No, what does "exacerbate" mean?

Liz: It means um, to make things worse.

Shaun: Right. Well I mean, it's not that I don't like David and Di.

[Shaun looks over at David and Di at the table next to them]

Shaun: Guys, it's not that I don't like you.

[together] It's all right.

Shaun: And it's not that I don't want to spend time with you cause I do. It's just... Ed doesn't have too many friends.

Ed: Can I get... any of you cunts... a drink?

Good 0 Bad

[repeated line]

Ed: I've got nothing.

Good 0 Bad

Dianne: SHAUN!

[Dianne throws a dart and misses]

Shaun: NO!

[Dianne throws another dart and hits the zombie]

Shaun: YES, yes, in the head!

[Dianne throws a third dart and hits Shaun in the head on accident]


Good 0 Bad

[Shaun leads the zombies away from the pub to create a diversion]

Shaun: Come and get it! It's a running buffet!


Shaun: All you can eat!

Good 0 Bad

[Philip is crouched beside the car, after being bitten by a zombie]

Philip: You're not driving that car.

Good 0 Bad

Ed: Any zombies out there?

Shaun: Don't say that!

Ed: What?

Shaun: That!

Ed: What?

Shaun: The zed-word. Don't say it!

Ed: Why not?

Shaun: Because it's ridiculous!

Ed: All right... are there any out there, though?

[looking out of the letter-box, he sees an empty street]

Shaun: I can't see any. Maybe it's not as bad as all that.

[he turns his head and sees a pack of zombies]

Shaun: Oh, no, there they are.

Good 0 Bad

Ed: Hey, Shaun, look who it is!

Shaun: f**k-A-DOODLE-DO!

Good 0 Bad

[Shaun hits the zombie pub owner with the butt of the rifle]

Ed: Why didn't you just shoot him, man?

Shaun: Ed, for the last time...

[Shaun squeezes the trigger of the gun, and it actually fires!]

Ed: [gleefully] I f*****g knew it!

Good 0 Bad

Shaun: [about Ed] He's not my boyfriend!

Ed: [handing beer to Shaun] It might be a bit warm, the cooler's off.

Shaun: Thanks, babe.


Good 0 Bad

David: I'm not staying here.

Liz: David, don't, that's suicide.

Ed: I think you should go.

Good 0 Bad

Ed: Who died and made you f*****g king of the zombies?

Good 0 Bad

Ed: [pulls the car up] What's up, niggas?

Good 0 Bad

[looking through Shaun's LPs for suitable records to throw at two approaching zombies]

Ed: 'Purple Rain'?

Shaun: No.

Ed: 'Sign o' the Times'?

Shaun: Definitely not.

Ed: The 'Batman' soundtrack?

Shaun: Throw it.

Ed: 'Dire Straits'?

Shaun: Throw it.

Ed: Ooh, 'Stone Roses'.

Shaun: Um, No.

Ed: 'Second Coming'.

Shaun: I like it!

Ed: Ahhh! 'Sade'.

Shaun: Yeah, but that's Liz's!

Ed: Yeah, but she did dump you.

Shaun: Oh!

Good 0 Bad

[repeated line]

Shaun: He's not my Dad, he's my stepdad!

Good 0 Bad

Barbara: [over the phone] Some men tried to get into the house.

Shaun: Well are they still there?

Barbara: [over the phone] I'm not sure, we've shut the curtains.

Shaun: Did you try the police?

Barbara: [over the phone] Well I thought about it.

Shaun: Are you OK? Did they hurt you?

Barbara: [over the phone] No I'm fine. I'm fine.

Shaun: Mum...

Barbara: [over the phone] Well they were a bit... bitey.

Shaun: [concerned] Mum, have you been bitten?

Barbara: [over the phone] No... But Philip has.

Shaun: [calmly] Oh, OK.

Ed: Has she been bitten?

Shaun: [to Ed] No, Philip has.

Ed: [calmly] Oh, OK.

Shaun: Listen, Mum, what sort of state is he in?

Barbara: [over the phone] Oh, he's fine. Bit under the weather.

Shaun: I see.

Ed: What's the deal?

Shaun: [to Ed] We may have to kill my step-dad.

Good 0 Bad

Ed: We're coming to get you, Barbara!

Good 0 Bad

Ed: Don't forget to kill Philip!

Good 0 Bad

Pete: It's four in the f*****g morning!

Shaun: It's Saturday!

Pete: No, it's not. It's f*****g Sunday. And I've got to go to f*****g work in four f*****g hours 'cos every other fucker in my f*****g department is f*****g ill! Now can you see why I'm SO f*****g ANGRY?

Ed: f**k, yeah!

Good 0 Bad

Shaun: Ohh, for God's sake! He's got an arm off!

Good 0 Bad

Ed: What's the plan then?

Shaun: Right.

[cuts to dream sequence]

Shaun: We take Pete's car, we drive over to Mum's, we go in, take care of Philip - "I'm so sorry, Philip" - then we grab Mum, we go over to Liz's place, hole up, have a cup of tea and wait for this whole thing to blow over.

Ed: Why have we got to go to Liz's?

Shaun: Because we do.

Ed: But she dumped you!

Shaun: I have to know if she's all right!

Ed: Why?

Shaun: Because I love her!

Ed: All right... gayyy... I'm not staying there, though.

Shaun: Why not?

Ed: If we hole up, I wanna be somewhere familiar, I wanna know where the exits are, and I wanna be allowed to smoke.

Shaun: Okay.

[cuts to dream sequence again]

Shaun: We take Pete's car, go round Mum's, go in, deal with Philip - "Sorry, Philip!" - grab Mum, go to Liz's, pick her up, bring her back here, have a cup of tea and wait for this whole thing to blow over.

Ed: Perfect!

Shaun: No, no, no, no, no, wait, we can't bring her back here.

Ed: Why not?

Shaun: Well, it's not really safe, is it?

Ed: Yeah, look at the state of it.

Shaun: Where's safe? Where's familiar?

Ed: Where can I smoke?

[Shaun and Ed pause then slowly make a realisation]

Shaun: [cuts to dream sequence a third time] Take car. Go to Mum's. Kill Phil - "Sorry." - grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. How's that for a slice of fried gold?

Ed: Yeah, boyyyeee!

[Shaun and Ed clang their weapons together]

Good 0 Bad

Related movies

(2007) Diary of the Dead movie quotes
(2007) Dead Silence movie quotes
(2007) Before the Devil Knows You're Dead movie quotes
(2008) Day of the Dead movie quotes
(2008) Over Her Dead Body movie quotes
(1995) The Quick and the Dead movie quotes
(1995) Dead Man movie quotes
(2013) Dead Man Down movie quotes
(2013) Evil Dead movie quotes
(2004) Dawn of the Dead movie quotes